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And while it's good "he gets tested after" visiting a glory hole, an after-the-fact STI check doesn't magically confer immunity on the person who gave (or got) the blowjob. But gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, etc., can all be transmitted orally. Oral is a less efficient mode of transmission for most STIs, GLORY, so he's less likely to contract an STI blowing some dude than if he were engaging in anal intercourse. You can personally break up with your boyfriend. "And how can I personally protect myself from STIs?" So he jokes around about the dicks he likes to suck-which is better then beating up the guys whose dicks he's just sucked, which is traditionally how conflicted cocksuckers worked through their own discomfort and self-loathing.Ĥ. Just as his sexual orientation is a mystery to you, GLORY, it could be a mystery to him. It could just mean he's having a hard time wrapping his head around who he is and the jokes are his way of working through his own discomfort and/or self-loathing and/or cognitive dissonance. that doesn't have to mean he's gay or bi.
![gay men eating cum in the sratle posion gay men eating cum in the sratle posion](https://res.cloudinary.com/sagacity/image/upload/c_crop,h_1429,w_2143,x_0,y_0/c_limit,dpr_auto,f_auto,fl_lossy,q_80,w_auto/kp6KJ_6122_eb37q0.jpg)
So while I want to acknowledge the existence, the lived experience, and the validity of straight boys who like to suck cock but who are in no other way attracted to men, this detail-your boyfriend's discomfort around gay men-could be a sign that something else is going on with him.Īs for the amount of joking he does. Many of them patronize trans women who do sex work because they want dick without dude.īut the fact your boyfriend doesn't like to see gay men being affectionate smacks less of, "Not gay or bi, not at all gay or bi, nothing to see here," and more of, "Internalized homophobia and other issues and possibly bi or maybe even gay." The sight of two men being appropriately affectionate in public wouldn't make him feel anything if there weren't some other underlying issue. While a guy with a girlfriend at home and a dick in his mouth is going to be perceived to be at least bisexual by most comers, there are guys who aren't into men-not at all-but who love sucking dick. Or he could be one of those non-gay/non-bi guys who loves to suck the occasional dick. Or he could be secretly be a whole lotta gay but sucking dicks in glory holes is all the gay he'll allow himself. But sure, GLORY, this may be a fetishistic desire on your boyfriend's part or he could be the tiniest bit bisexual and this is how your boyfriend expresses his tiny bit of bisexuality and only his unresolved homophobia/biphobia prevents him from conceiving of himself as bisexual. Some people think kink is a sexual orientation-kinks are certainly hard wired and not chosen-but, even if they're not, drawing a neat line between a person's kink (or kinks) and their sexual orientation isn't always easy. "Do you think this is a kink or part of his sexual orientation or both?" I'm gonna take your long list of questions as they came.ģ. He gave me a treatable STI already, but he says it was from a previous female partner. I'm OK with him making his own decisions about his health, but I also want to protect myself. He says he gets tested after he goes but I'm not sure how frequently he does this. So, a few questions: Should I support my BF around exploring his sexuality? Does he even need to explore this? Do you think this is a kink or a part of his sexual orientation or both? And how can I personally protect myself from STIs? He says that they don't use condoms in glory holes. I wouldn't have any problems with this-I dated women for ten years prior to him-but he emphatically swears he's straight and often points out that he doesn't like gay porn, he doesn't like to see gay men being affectionate, etc. However, the amount that he jokes about being gay, giving blowjobs, etc., makes me think he might be gay or bisexual and is coming to terms with his sexuality. Then out of the blue this week he said that he had lied and actually likes to go to glory holes occasionally-but only to give blowjobs, never to get them. I asked him if he had ever been to one, and he said no. My boyfriend really likes glory hole porn.